| I suppose I haven't really blogged about my semester here in the city yet...let alone blog very much at all, but that's a different story =p
Lately this semester's had me thinking again about some of the things I used to worry about ie. life, career, family, friends. In large part it's probably because I'm here tasting a little bit of life outside of this fantasy we call college. And so far it's been an interesting experience. I'm definitely enjoying my internship and being close to home is nice. But, I think one reason I am here was for God to separate me from the people and things that made me feel comfortable and secure. Not that those things are bad (certainly not!), but let's just say one of the themes of this semester has been testing of faith; whether it's been starting fresh again in a new environment; trying to be there for the guys in my church back home, feeling like you've been brought down from the mountaintop to the valley (Mark 9:2); having learned first-hand about other religions (a voodoo priest, Hassidic Jewish community, Sihk temple, Hindu temple, and an Ethiopian church); or just trying to keep in step with Jesus. I'll be blunt: it's been hard.
And then I hear about people who are suffering and being persecuted around the world for their faith in Jesus. Last week at church, I saw a video of three middle-aged women who were being tried in Indonesia for setting up a sunday school in their homes...and there were crowds screaming with so much hatred and emotion for "Death!" and "Justice from Allah!".
...reminding me of Job when he says, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him" (Job 13:15). Oh what faith! There's a lot for me to think about in all of this, but the thought that followed was... now why don't you trust in Me for your present situations and even in the ordinary things before you worry how strong your faith is or whether you could be like Job and lay down your life without fear or doubt. But, the truth is, I need more faith, love, and humility even in the ordinary things and am afraid to be like Peter when he says "Lord, why can't I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you." in which Jesus answers "Will you really lay down your life for me? I tell you the truth, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times!"
And for the few who've managed to read this much, I'm not sure I can offer any sort of real conclusion, rather more thoughts and less answers. I guess right now I'm just trying to keep in step.
So give me courage to go on, 'Cuz the narrow path looks dark.. |
